Holy Shenanigans!

Dearest TASPer Lovers:

It's been far too long since I've posted something. I've been doing some musicking.
My parents and I went to the Wolf Trap Opera Company's production of Mozart's Le Nozze Di Figaro (The Marriage of Figaro). It's sort of the sequel to The Barber of Seville. I don't know if I revealed this at TASP, but I desperately love opera. The Wolf Trap operas go on during the summer, and they invite new singers whom they think are up and coming, and they get to showcase their talents in this great, massive, outdoor theater. Le Nozze Di Figaro's got some pretty famous pieces of music, including some amazing arias. The opera's got a sense of humor, and the younger cast was willing to ham it up a lot; it was rather lewd, actually. It was time well spent.

Unfortunately, I was sitting next to the couple. You know the ones. Someone's always touching a leg and muttering something about love or the show or whatever. Anyway, I'm always the person next to them, and everyone else gets to enjoy the opera/movie/play in peace as I wish Chuck Norris would come to my aid and kill them.

Which brings me to my new favorite thing: Chuck Norris. It's sheer genius. When the show Walker: Texas Ranger was on, people regularly thought that my uncle was Chuck Norris. I didn't appreciate in the 4th grade how much cooler it makes me to be related to someone who looks like Chuck Norris. I didn't quite get why there were so many facebook groups devoted to him, but then I watched a couple of this movies. Another piece of sheer genius is Chuck Norris Facts, which tells you everything you need to know. Some choice pieces of knowledge:

"Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries."
"What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe."
"Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as giraffes."

For some reason the second one reminds me of Charles. Perhaps something to do with the infamous koala jokes?

I've been procrastinating from packing like it's my job. Four years of packing for boarding school, and I still can't seem to get it right. Such is life, I suppose.

Oh, and despite my better judgement, I saw Snakes on a Plane on Friday. It pretty much changed my life. I'm sorry Dylan, I know you thought it would be the hands-down worst movie of the year, but just as Chuck Norris is not a man, so is Snakes on a Plane not a movie. It's on a different plane of existence. The plot is in the title. There's only twenty minutes of flimsy buildup before the snakes begin attacking, and then you get out an hour and ten minutes later. It was almost too gory to be funny, but then Samuel L. Jackson declared, "I'm sick of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" and, earlier, something about snakes on crack, and I decided it was just right. I made to sure to see it in the city, because audiences are more enthusiastic there than in the suburbs. We threw rubber snakes, we screamed together, and we laughed hysterically immediately afterward. Nothing was terribly scary, just sort of gross or surprising. For me, at least the movie lived up to all the hype; I think it's definitely in the running for a cult classic. It is worth noting, however, that I would have hated it if I'd seen it alone or on television for the first time. It's a group experience.

And if nothing else, I learned that Da Ali G Show is being turned into a movie. The question isn't, "Am I too smart for this movie?" The question is, "Is this movie too smart for me?" It looks just as irreverent and hilarious as I found the show to be.

Given that this post has had little to do with me and more to do with cult/pop culture phenoma, we can gather that there's nothing really happening in my life right now. I like the thought of taking it easy before being thrown into the college world. My parents plan to drop my stuff off and be gone within two hours. They were like, "Why are there three days of parent orientation? The kids don't want us here, and we're not the ones going to college." Does anyone else have that amount of touchy-feeling parent orientation type stuff?

Stay classy, TASPers.