pirates vs. ninjas: a media facedown
page two of my school newspaper's february edition: Pirates vs. Ninjas, big headline. This is the upcoming issue, and I'll be writing the pirate side (of course!), so I'm humbly asking for aid from all of my fellow global warming haters and pirate fans. In just 400 words, how do I capture all the glory of our sea-faring friends? The wooden legs, the big black hats, the eye patches, the parots, the booty, the really bad eggs! there's so much to tell...How can I properly convey how well they supernate my coracle? This is a serious matter, at stake is the loyalty of 1,200 Grand Rapids students! We can't let the ninjas win a victory like that! So again, please graciously send me your suggestions on what to include about our proud (and victorious) pirate crew.
-Emma
posted by Emma at 6:34 PM
6 Comments:
i thought you were a tibetan monk?
lisa, you, me?
what happened?
7:12 PM, February 02, 2006
the verbs. pirates get to:
swashbuckle, pillage, plunder, swagger, and stagger. ninjas? skulk, sneak, hide, kill. lame!
8:15 PM, February 02, 2006
Pirates are drunkards and Vitamin C deficient. Now ninjas, there's a well-nourished bunch!
8:53 PM, February 02, 2006
And ninjas can subsist on anything. They're resourceful.
9:52 PM, February 02, 2006
Ninjas use shurikens with deadly precision and stealth. Pirates get rusty, chipped sabres, and only manage to hit an opponent with sheer luck (since they're usually too busy staggering around drunk).
Ninjas win.
Can you post or e-mail a copy of this article once it's done?
11:44 AM, February 03, 2006
okay, one reply in favor of pirates? come on people-I need more than just five verbs (although they're swashbuckling verbs, I'll be sure to include them) to convince my impressionable class mates. And Charles Wu! come on, everyone knows pirates are taking lots of vitamins... to Samyu, yeah, I'm a non-violent girl at heart, but you have to remember that I was a pirate boy when I was a little girl, and this is one fight I just can't hand over to a bunch of social outcast ninnies who skulk around in masks.
4:54 PM, February 03, 2006
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