Applications Related Humour

Heya!

I know lots of us were feeling the pressure of those stressig early apps, and the regular round is still to come. So I thought the following would be appropriate. It's a hilarious list of choice excerpts from admissions essays of the past. I found it while browsing collegeconfidential.com (hey, don't look at me like that, some of you go there too :P ).

Mt. Elgon National Park is well known for its rich deposits of herds of elephants.

I enjoyed my bondage with the family and especially with their mule, Jake.

I would love to attend a college where the foundation was built upon women.

He was a modest man with an unbelievable ego.

Hemmingway includes no modern terminology in A Farewell to Arms. This, of course, is due to that fact that it was not written recently.

I am proud to be able to say that I have sustained from the use of drugs, alcohol and tobacco products.

If Homer’s primary view of mortal life could be expressed in a word it would be this: life is fleeting.

Playing the saxophone lets me develop technique and skill which will help me in the future, since I would like to become a doctor.

However, many students would not be able to emerge from the same situation unscrewed.

I look at each stage as a challenge, and an adventure, and as another experience on my step ladder of life.

There was one man in particular who caught my attention. He was a tiny man with ridiculously features all of which, with the exception of his nose, seemed to drown in the mass of the delicate transparent pinkish flesh that cascaded from his forehead and flowed over the collar of his tuxedo and the edge of his bow tie.

For almost all involved in these stories, premature burial has had a negative effect on their lives.

I know that as we age, we tend to forget the bricklayers of our lives.

I would like to see my own ignorance wither into enlightenment.

The outdoors is two dimensional, challenging my physical and mental capabilities.

Going to school in your wonderfully gothic setting would be an exciting challenge.

My mother worked hard to provide me with whatever I needed in my life, a good home, a fairly stale family and a wonderful education.

I hope to provide in turn, a self motivated, confident, and capable individual to add to the reputation of Vasser University whose name stands up for itself. [Note: the correct spelling is Vassar]

Filled with Victorian furniture and beautiful antique fixtures, even at that age I was amazed.

They eagerly and happily took our bags, welcomed us in English, and quickly drove us out of the airport.

Do I shake the hand that has always bitten me?

In the spring, people were literally exploding outside.

Freedom of speech is the ointment which sets us free.

As an extra, we even saw Elizabeth Taylor’s home, which had a bridge attaching it to the hoe across the street.

Under Activities: Volunteer (Retarded tutor)

Name of Activity: Cook and serve homeless

On a transcript: AP Engllish

Misspelled abbreviation on another transcript: COMP CRAP (computer graphics)

Hope you had fun laughing.

Till later,

Jason