Two Cows
Who knows the "two cows" jokes? Apparently they're classic. My economics teacher shared some copies with us. I can't resist posting them. Hope no one's offended.
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and grows.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows and naturally that nation is a danger to mankind. You wage a war to save the world… and grab the cows.
FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows. They are both mad.
ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You don't know where they are, so you break for lunch.
SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for keeping them.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.
INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You worship them.
WELSH ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You think the younger one is rather attractive.
posted by Jason Chua at 11:33 AM
2 Comments:
I've heard a variant on these somewhere, of the type "You have two cows, your neighbor has none." Here's a few I remember (although I forget my source):
DEMOCRAT ECONOMICS:
You have two cows, your neighbor has none. You feel guilty. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN ECONOMICS:
You have two cows, your neighbor has none. So what?
COMMUNIST ECONOMICS:
You have two cows, your neighbor has none. The government takes them both. You and your neighbor wait in a long line for the milk. The milk is sour.
Also, in the version I heard, the German cows demand eight weeks of vacation per year.
Sam
4:50 PM, September 02, 2005
yeah, i've heard those
i think a german must be responsible for this version...
got any austrian cows?
10:54 PM, September 02, 2005
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