Halloween Pirates

All I have to say is, how many kids dress up as ninja?

not many.

Pirates rule! Just check out the costumes of the kids begging for candy at your door (If you're in the States that is) tonight if you don't believe me.

Ruminations on Literature

1. You're Gonna Get Your Fingers Burned - The Alan Parsons Project
2. The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether - The Alan Parsons Project
3. Don't Answer Me - The Alan Parsons Project
4. Birdland - Weather Report
5. Zigaboogaloo - Nicholas Payton

So, guess what band I discovered this week. :)

My college list experienced a culling yesterday when I found out the Stanford app is due in early December, not January (!!), and I had to scramble to get myself organized. Berkeley, Princeton, and (sigh) Umich all got the axe. Cal Tech and MIT are both living on the edge, but I think they're here to stay. Person of the Week Award definitely goes to my mom for sorting out foot-thick piles of paperwork for me.

Some good TASPer-recommended reading has come my way through, surprisingly enough, my school library, which is not known for its comprehensive collection (e.g. they don't have a copy of Brave New World - unless you count the English department hoard, that is). I think I mentioned The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, which is pretty good so far, although it may be several months before I'm finished with it (think 500 pages, approx. 10 pages a day . . .). Also, I stumbled across Guns, Germs, and Steel, which happened to be sitting on the "new acquisitions" shelf (the librarian tells me I am the first one to check it out!), which looks like a fascinating concept, although perhaps rather dense in places.

Also, I realized this book I'm reading for English, The Sound of Waves (by Yukio Mishima), is more or less the complete opposite to Pride and Prejudice. There are some basic similarities (love story, concerns about wealth differences, initial surprise/disapproval of the match by other characters) but stylistically, and even plotwise it is a total inversion of Austen's tale. Huge emphasis on visual description, general lack of dialogue, straightforward characters lacking great intellect, focus on action and physical phenomena rather than verbal interaction. I don't really like the book that much, frankly, and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but I think I will enjoy exploring this contrast . . . maybe I'll write my world literature part II essay on it.

OK, enough ramblings. Back to more productive (if less stimulating) endeavors.

Sam

more celebrations

wooo! Application number one is finished! wooo! And it's the weekend! wooo!

Celebrations around the world

The latest from my favorite school bulletin board:

Oct. 24-30: Pirate Week in the Cayman Islands

Oct. 28: "NO" Day in Greece and Cyprus

Sam

The best band in the universe

Presenting:
Harry and the Potters

They are potentially the worst band ever. I tried to get them to come to my school, but the student activities person argued that there wouldn't be enough interest on the basis of the fact that, "They are terrible." They are terrible, it's true, but in a way that's absolutely fabulous. It's the epitome of so bad it's good.

If you haven't checked them out, you should. I recommend "Stick it to Dolores" and "Save Ginny Weasley." They seriously just sing songs about Harry Potter. It's hilarious. Listen to some of their stuff. You won't regret it.

Choice lines:
"We've got to save Ginny Weasley from the basilisk!"
"Are you petrified of being...Petrified?"

Top Five Songs of Right Now:
1. The Human Hosepipe - Harry and the Potters
2. Black Cadillacs - Modest Mouse
3. The Whole Shebang - Grant Lee Buffalo
4. Tymps - Fiona Apple
5. She Won't Let Me... - Afroman

joy restored!

Everyone, I have quit band!

But don't worry, that's a good thing. My band is (was!) something like Bern's, except we don't have anyone like Bern to try and get it to sound good. It was terrible, and I hated it. About half the band just got back from a trip to play at Disney World, and since they've gotten back, not a single one cares about how they play anymore, including the director. So I switched to full orchestra on the condition that I would play second bassoon on the pieces that need it for band concerts. O what joy is mine!

Also, besides a few technical problems, the graffiti game was a smashing success, and we won quite soundly. Matt, don't think I didn't notice that you bailed on us. We'll have to try it again sometime, and hopefully the Exeter computers won't be malfunctioning for Meredith's sake.

recommendation

I just finished re-reading "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. It's an awesomely inspiring book. You should all read it.

-b

Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Is pretty darn awesome.

I watched it today, and basically think that Wallace would be a helpless and rather boring fool (albeit a very endearing one) without his inventions. I don't understand the gentle annoyance I felt towards him, but that's how it was. Gromit, by the way, is great.

And Ridley I concur, the movie has a lot of gentle sexual innuendo. Which of course makes it that much more grin-worthy.

So, is anybody else on holiday? I have no school till next Thursday. A pretty measly eight days off, but I'm not really complaining. Need all the help I can get at the moment.

Till later,

Jason

The College Tour, 2005

Happy Birthday-plus-four Henrik! Cool/auspicious October 22 events:

1746 - The College of New Jersey (later renamed Princeton University) receives its charter.

1844 - The Great Disappointment: the second coming of Jesus and the end of the World failed to take place, despite the predictions of William Miller, disillusioning many adherents of Millerism.

1924 - Toastmasters International is founded

1966 - The Supremes become the first all-female music group to attain a No. 1 selling album (The Supremes A' Go-Go).

1969 - Led Zeppelin release the classic album Led Zeppelin II, featuring the hit single "Whole Lotta Love."

OK, so I'm back, and my photos are now flooding the photobucket (I didn't compress them or anything - hopefully they haven't turned out really massive like those other ones I posted). Man, it was a crazy trip. Although it was pretty awesome to meet three TASPers! Matt, touring Princeton was great, especially the Princeton Record Exchange, which brought back sweet memories of Wazoo, Schoolkids, and Encore. Henrik, it was a pleasure to hang out at Cornell with you and your dad; someday I'm going to have to come out and see Middlebury in all its glory. Dylan, meeting you for dinner at Harvard Square was a major highlight of the trip (partly because it was the best meal we had all week - excellent restaurant recommendation!) Sorry we had to leave so early : (. I wanted to stay around longer and meet your family and everything, but my dad and my sister were utterly trashed (as I think I mentioned, we spent the previous night sleeping in our car in a parking lot in rural New Hampshire, in the most insane leg of the entire jouirney). But Harvard really won me over, so I may be back in another year or so . . .

Anyway, here's the report (you asked for it, Jason!), with brief notes on colleges and interesting tidbits:

Duke - big emphasis on interdisciplinary studies (i.e. it's really easy to double major), study abroad (engineers get to do it too!) and undergrad research. Academics seem comparable to Ivies; big campus with lots of Gothic architecture. I give it a thumbs-up.

Fun Fact: One of the university buildings is nicknamed The Pickle.


Princeton - pretty tiny school, the smallest I saw on this trip - sounds like they have killer academics, tiny classes, big emphasis on undergrad programs, more than graduate ones, so you can take classes from Nobel laureates as freshmen. Not bad. But I'm not sure I'll apply - there's hardly any Mormon community there, and that's something that's important to me.

Fun Fact: Well, the gargoyle, but you can see that on the photobucket. Um . . . the School of Architecture is generally agreed to be the ugliest building on campus.


Cornell - a little disappointing. Seems like an all-around good school, but nothing specific really stands out. It's also a pretty gigantic school for an Ivy, so you don't get the ultra-tiny feel of Princeton or even Duke. Their engineering program looks strong, I guess . . . it didn't really win me over, frankly. If I went, I would go only for Telluride House (see below).

Fun Fact: somebody once stuck a giant pumpkin on top of the Cornell Chime. They still don't know who or how.


Special Report on Telluride House: Henrik and I took the tour and had dinner with the Cornellers. It was a strangely un-TASP-like experience. Unlike our little semi-monastic thing where we had to stick together all the time, the Cornellers seemed to be pretty much doing their own thing. So there wasn't a real tight sense of community like we had. Also, we had a pretty eccentric tour guide. He obviously hadn't planned any kind of tour, so we just kind of wandered around, with long, awkward silences between his comments, e.g.

"This is the living room."
*long silence*
"I guess there isn't much else to say about it."

However, he did take a break from the tour to tell us all about Eradisz (sp.? some famous Hungarian mathematician) numbers, which are rather complicated and have to do with co-publishing research papers (I can give you full details later if you're interested). Also, we got to see the laundry room (there was a sign on the door that said DO NOT ENTER - SATAN LIVES HERE), where we were shown a two-year supply of laundry detergent and toilet paper. The toilet paper was Main Street brand - according to one Corneller, "the most private of papers in the most public of places."

By this time, my dad was totally weirded out, and I must say I was a little disturbed myself. But we had a really interesting dinnertable discussion, and it turned out that the Cornellers were extremely intelligent and fun to be around, if a little quirky. So . . . it was definitely an interesting experience. If any of you are passing through Ithaca (on your way to, um . . . nowhere?) you should definitely drop by and get a taste for yourself.

Wow, that was a pretty long-winded report. Anyway . . .

McGill - Big and cold, but smack in the middle of Montreal, a pretty ill city. Looks like they have solid academics, programs in just about everything, and plenty of chances for me to ameliorer mon Francais, although, w/ 32000 students, it looks like the kind of place where you could get lost in the crowd. Also, Inexpensive! Well, relatively. I heard you get tuition waived after your freshman year if you're in the top 10% of your class, and even without that, it's less than half the price of American top-tier schools.

Fun Fact: the first president of the University was named George Jehosaphat Mountain.

Harvard - Won me over. Incredible academics (of course), but one thing that really got me was their exhaustive freshman rooming application - you have five pages to fill out about what kind of person you are, what kind of roommates you want, etc., and they spend all summer comparing apps to try and form perfect groups of roomates. I talked to a Harvard student who said this works out wonderfully. One thing that concerns me a little is their tiny engineering program (only 80(!) students), but that may just mean I get lots of tiny classes with great professors. Now I just have to get in . . .
Side Note: There was a Harvard-Princeton football game the afternoon I was in Cambridge, so we went and watched it. The Harvard fans sitting by us were yelling taunts at the Princeton fans across the field: "Safety school!"

Fun Fact: Harvard is a tourist madhouse! There were huge crowds all over the place, snapping pictures, etc. As a result, Harvard forbids any visitors from entering the dorms, many of the buildings, even the library!

MIT - Academics sound great (of course) - they have the best undergraduate research program I've ever seen, they emphasize inter-student cooperation in all homework assignments, they (interestingly) have a great music program which lots of people use for minors, double majors, etc. But apart from all this, MIT is an extremely cool place because it has a quirky attitude - they construct big cartoony buildings on campus, they use a funky logo, all their admissions materials poke fun at themselves. See also the photobucket, the "Secret Laboratory" shot. That's something you wouldn't see at most universities.

Fun Fact:
There are big tanks of liquid nitrogen everywhere in the hallways at MIT. Just sitting there.


So that was it. I still haven't decided which schools to cut from my application list, but that should happen within the next week or so . . . in the meantime, I am hoping jetlag will treat me kindly.

Rock on,

Sam

grafitti tonight!

I realize that this is extremely late notice, but for anyone who's interested, we're having a game of yahoo grafitti at 9:30 pm tonight (tuesday). We'll probably coordinate it on AIM, so log on around that time if you want to play.

Camp Beagle lives! And that's 9:30 Eastern time, too.

In a time of crisis, measures must be taken...

To protect our national symbols from the exploitation by respected publication outlets, the White House took some decisive steps...

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/24/business/24onion.html?ex=1130385600&en=97d09a9205c95195&ei=5070

Finally!


*snicker*

Important to all you Caffeine-Addicts

So this is particularly relevant to EMILY!, Lisa and Sophie.

http://www.newstarget.com/012352.html

Yep.

The Sound and the Fury!!!!

You're reading the Sound and the Fury!!! That has to be the best book ever. You just jumped seven points on the coolness scale. I won't tell you who dies, but I think you'll guess. Depending on your edition, 70 pages means you're past Benjy's section.... I don't like the rest of the book as much as his, it's less interesting, but more relevant to the story.

Anyway, just thought I'd express my support for the book, now I'll go back and read the rest of your post.

Random Heya

Yeah, people are just being born, left and right! Sort of. But anyway:

Matt S: Hi! How's life? Sure took your time returning to the blog, but you're here now. Speaking of which, where's Nestor? And what about Sophie?

Bern: Aawwwwwww. Your band does not seem fun. In the least. That director sounds like he needs some major sense thumped into him. It would be awesome if you threatened to quit and he was left foundering, but I don't know the situation, so don't listen to my blabbering. Hope everything works out alright!

Sam: Wonder where you are at the moment. Anyway, when your college visiting extravaganza is over, I want to see those photos on the Photobucket. And hear all about the TASPers you met. A little info on the colleges you visited wouldn't hurt either.

This whole nominations thing... so... you actually get nominated for it? And who votes? The whole student body? You all have to tell me whether (and what) you win. Over here, the Senior Superlatives only go into the yearbook, and are made up by the team. So basically a small group has absolute power over the whole awards thing. But we're still having problems with categories (mostly because the ones we come up with are far too derogatory or plain mean). But I definitely like Charles' suggestion of "Most likely to use genetic engineering to create a centaur".

We've started Romantic poetry in English class. So far, only a few Wordsworth poems have been thrown at me, so I really shouldn't judge, but... urgh. I think it's what Sophie would call the epitome of poshlust. I mean, the sentiments he expresses are sweet... and it's great that he's one with nature and all that, but it's too sweet, too artificial, for my liking. And I keep wondering whether he'd so effusively praise Mother Nature if he'd grown up in the Sahara or somewhere similarly bleak. Gah, we'll see how it goes.

OK, top five songs of the moment:

1. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2 - I'm slooowly emerging from a U2 phase.

2. Don't Lie - The Blackeyed Peas - Hooked on the refrain.

3. The Plagues - Amick Byram and Ralph Fiennes - From the Prince of Egypt Soundtrack. Not really sure why I find the chanting of "Let my people go!" so compelling, but that's the way it is. And it's a much more exciting duet than the far better known diva screamfest between Mariah and Whitney that's on the same album.

4. Let Go - Frou Frou - Simply beautiful.

5. Symphony No. 9 in E-Minor: From the New World - II (Largo) - Antonin Dvorak, no idea who the performers are - So, I know next to nothing about orchestral music in general, but I do know that the English horn bit in this piece is wonderful. Incidentally, Matt, which was the recording that you presented in TASP? The slightly quicker one that took oh-so-long to find.

Till later,

Jason

Why, the incomparable Henrik and Charles had birthdays!

Wishing the best to you both (and Henrik where is that picture of me as a young adult? I'm curious to see it)

I apologize for not being on here for a while, I have been pretty busy lately, and by 'busy' read 'lazy'

yeah about ready to drop out of band here. at current count 3 people whom I am still on speaking terms with in that group. note: the director is NOT one of them. Him and I are definitely at each others throats right now. like he wants to be their best friend so he gives me the responsibility of making them look and sound good, but he won't give me the authority to discipline them, and overrides me when I do. If I yell at them he tells me to calm down and that I will 'catch more flies with honey than vinegar' in a loud voice so that the entire band can hear how much he disapproves of my making them work. That way I look like an asshole and he is the kind mentor. Then--when the time comes to perform and they suck he blames me for it and tells me I'm not dedicated enough. The final straw came today when he told me to warm up and rehearse the band because he had to 'make some calls'. he then proceeded to stand right next to me and critique my choice of SCALE saying it was too hard and I was expecting too much. Uh, hello mr H these are flipping seniors, if they can't tune a b major scale they shouldn't be in this class. Then of course all my section leaders have senioritis and look for any way to miss rehearsal and not schedule sectionals. when they are there they make it clear that they are counting the days until the last game and the end of marching season. Oh, thanks. thats a wonderful way to encourage your freshman to learn their show. well and truly lost my temper yesterday with the trumpet section. needless to say I got 'talked to' afterwards. Excuse me, what did you expect me to do? they were miles wrong on the field and screwing around with saxophones while I was trying to talk to them.

anyway, in case you hadn't noticed I'm in a bit of a funk right now. The band went to a marching competition last week and played alright. I guess. we got the comment tape back and it pretty much said 'this band has a lot of potential and they would be good if they would just do the work'. yep, pretty much what I've been telling you for the past two months. pretty much what I told you last year. and the year before that. on the way home a bunch of us played truth or dare during which it came out that not only have I never had a girlfriend, but outside the realm of theatre I've never kissed anyone. Quick, altogether now, ....Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I probably wouldn't mind it so much if I didn't currently have a crush on one of my friends and am too shy to tell her. How's that for an embarrassing blog confession eh? and mom, if you're reading this, you can stop now.

On a happier note, I saw Wallace and Gromit today. it was fantabulous. Geology is pretty awesome. we took a field trip to the eagle caps (where you saw me backpackicking) and learned about the geology of the area. It turns out that my proverbial backyard started out as a tropical volcano before being buried, metamorphosed, reappearing as a deep sea fossil bed (I found fossils!) being carried by continental drift to where I am, being eroded by glaciers and finally serving as the volcanic vent for the basalt lava that once covered all of oregon and much of washington and Idaho. pretty cool huh? I apologize to any creationists. Shakespeare is pretty sweet too. Falstaff rocks my socks. (he's a comic character for those of you who aren't bardophiles)

anyway, its 11:30. I'd better go to bed.

I miss you all

-bern

Never mind, I figured out how to blog

Hi everyone. I haven't blogged since the day after tasp ended, and I guess I should say something, lol.

I met Sam in Princeton on Wednesday, and needless to say it was much fun. It's a great town, and everyone should see it if you haven't already. His Dad was taking pictures, so you should see those later.

Oh, Sam was wearing his blue and yellow (maize, whatever) shirt, and the guy who interviewed me (currently a p-ton senior) stopped and talked to him, kind of cool.

Anyway, happy birthday to everyone I missed, but it seems you have a wide assortment of cakes to tide you over and not miss my absense too much.

Speaking of pictures, it's good seeing people now, everyone looks so much older. Jason in London, and Emma with slightly longer hair (grew in well by the way,) and Lisa, I'm happy that whole thing worked out.

Good luck with your penultimate semester, don't slack off too much.

The OTHER matt (with consequently less name recognition, lol.)

who says ninjas have to be japanese?

Check it out. Ninjas are no longer an asian phenomenon:

http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4357870.stm

A special birthday message for Henrik

Happy Birthday!


It's a magical, musical birthday cake!

This being a special birthday message was actually a complete lie. It's a pretty ordinary birthday message, except that it is endowed with <3.

Have a ridiculously awesome birthday. Because sometimes life is just better when you're a prime number years old.

Happy birthday Henrik, thou Vermontian Viking maniac! And good timing on the birthday, because all the cool people are born in the 20s of October :-P

Happy Smurfin' Birthday Henrik

He's singing a smurf rendition of "happy birthday" to you! Happy birthday Henrik!

And just for good measure, a pirate birthday shout!

And Now Henrik's 17 Too!

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

HENRIK!

Go nuts.

Jason

The birthday kid speaks!

Wow guys, I feel really loved :-D For serious! Thanks for all of the cakes/blimps/random Penn State students :-D And of course, thanks for all of the memories. I'm getting a bike for my birthday, so I will be able to roll up my right pant leg and pedal circles around lowly pedestrians everywhere (not to mention run from evil rodents). Also, I can finally watch R-rated movies (X-rated too, whatever the distinction is). Wooooooooo! But really, thanks a lot for all of the well-wishes and funniness; I really appreciate it.

happy birthday charles wu!

Happy birthday charles!

Okay, I know that's a really bad photo edit; if only you were here to do it better!

~Emma

Happy Natal Day

Dear Charles,

I send my birthday greetings from the Holiday Inn Express Internet terminal in the sprawling metropolis of Brewerton, New York. May you someday enjoy the pleasure of visiting this exotic locale yourself.

Sorry, I have to go!

Sam

Charles, birthday boy extraordinaire

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHARLES!


It's an amazing cake, just for you.

"Wu"-hoooo!

happy birthday carrrlos!!

CHUCKIEEE!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
CHARLESSSS!!!!!!!!

i MISS you SO MUCH!!!!!!

Crazy kid....(my camera's prettier than yours..)

It lives!

Dearest TASPers:

I realized that, quite changed from my former obsessive posting, I have been quite remiss in previous weeks. I think it's because not only has the college process eaten me, but it's in the process of digesting me.

We had a volleyball game against our archrival, Andover. We beat them for the first time in two years, and it was completely satisfying. They so thought they were going to win, and it was like, "No, bitch!" BAM BAM BAM. Terribly articulate, I know.
Philosophy class is like a clown on a bridge, juggling my ideas and then dropping them at random into the river, to be swept away and pollute the ocean. I'm not sure of anything anymore. Forget the question of why I exist. Do I exist at all? Do I have free will? Essentially what is real and whether or not I have free will is irrelevant because despite Descartes' point "cogito ergo sum," I don't necessarily exist.
It's all terribly confusing at 8 o'clock in the morning. On the upside, though, this guy called B.F. Skinner, age 101, creator of the airtight crib and belief in positive behavior reinforcement, is coming to our class. I anticipate peppering him with questions about free will and societal influences on decision-making. Delight!

We've begun the voting for "Most *insert thing*" in the senior class. Big man on campus, most likely to appear on GQ, most unlikely couple, most intimidating, most likely to come back to teach at Exeter. I've been informed that I'm high up in the running for "Perfect Exonian." It's all very exciting.

Actually, life isn't as exciting as it may seem. It's rather boring, really. Well, except for Japanese. We're watching a martial arts movie with a twist: the protagonist is in a wheelchair. It's called "Aiki," and it's essentially the most kickass movie ever filmed. It involves a lot of sitting around and throwing people to the ground using only hands. Also, learning Arabic has been amazing.

No more talking about me!

I think you'll all appreciate this. Check it out:
http://www.climatemash.org/index.html

Top 5 Songs for October:
1. The Sidewinder - Lee Morgan
2. Try a Little Tenderness - Otis Redding
3. Say Yes - Elliott Smith
4. Bamana Niya - Toubab Krewe
5. Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy - Big & Rich

Hey look, it's past midnight here!

Which means that for me, Charles is now 17! Don't dispute my faulty reasoning.


HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

CHARLES!


Hope everyone's life is going well.

Jason

AHHH I'M POSTING! AHHHHH! (chyessss)

Hey guys!!! Oh gosh, I miss you all sooo much. Sometimes I forget just HOW much when I don't write or talk about TASP for a while. I know that I don't post that often, but I would like to start posting on a more regular basis. You guys, I read all of your posts, and I love knowing what's going on in your lives, and I always check the 3rd Photobucket to see if anything new is there. My point is, I DO care about and love you guys SO much and I want you to know it.

Okay, so school has officially started. Ahhh, it's SO almost second quarter...*gulp* To be truthful, I'm hating school for the most part. I have a heavy case of senioritis, but it will soon be remedied. There are parts of school I do like, however. AP Physics...ah, AP Physics, what would I do without you? I'm passionate about the subject, I'm friends with my teacher, my best friend is in the class, and I really, really enjoy doing the homework and tests (something which seems to disgust anyone who finds out). AP Art History is interesting, though it is a lot of work. I really love art, and the class is fun. I guess I do like that class a lot; I just hate homework, hehe. AP English is Awful. With a capital A, in case you didn't notice. If you know me, you know that AP English is USUALLY my favorite class. But this year, the teacher is hateful, the class is hateful, we hardly turn anything in, and we do an overload of college work and hardly study any literature. Worst of all, there is NO discussion. AT all. I guess it's my last year of high school English, though, so I can't complain that much. Econ is pretty terrible, since my class is pretty moronic. It's getting better, though.

I was elected President of my choir!! Now my Les Chanteuses ladies call me "Madame President," even when they see me in the halls! It's pretty awesome. However, I'm super stressed trying to get them ready for our concert next week. My teacher left me in charge for this week while he's gone, but the sub keeps trying to wrestle control from me. It's quite a frustrating struggle.

Anyway, other than school...what else is happening? I'm still super passionate about music. Ohhhh and something horrible happened! My friend Amy, from my girl scout troop, and I are really huge Smashing Pumpkins/Billy Corgan fans, right? So she tells me that this summer, she went to a Billy Corgan concert, and she also tells me that I was the first person she thought to take!!! WHY didn't I go, you ask? I was in MICHIGAN!! Ohh, I would the concert were a few weeks later!! My chance to see Billy Corgan...*weep* Oh, I'll get over it. I must see him perform before I die...

However, I wouldn't trade TASP for a million Billy Corgan concerts.

Plus, even Billy Corgan might get boring after a few thousand concerts. ;-)

I put two pictures on the 3rd Photobucket. Enjoy!

I MISS you guys!! I LOVE you guys!!!

I definitely shall post more later.

Love,

Lisa

writing sentences.

I realized how much fun it is to write sentence today.
My lit. class is incredibly boring, and today we were learning about simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences, you know them all, (this is day 2 of sentence types) and we had to practice writing each type. I went into it with a very bad attitude, but I found it's incredibly fun to make up zany sentences using the names of friends. And as a part of my campaign-to-increase-familiarity-with-the-word-"calipygian" my first simple sentence was:
"Fitzwilliam looked positively calipygian (even under water)."

In other news, there's a lecture at Calvin College about gender roles in hip-hop that I'm planning on going to next week. Woohoo for extended learning! Miss you all!

note to Mark: I tried to send you a hello message by way of a friend who visited the UM campus, but not surprisingly, it never got through. Too bad, but good luck with the tenure process!

Faces, Two Bobs, and Samuel

Someone's gotta remind me how to put picture in the photobucket: I've got some hilarious 'facicking' pictures from Sam's little face distortioner. You should see Bern as a 'young adult' (BWAHAHAHA).

I do have real pictures though, and don't worry, I'll humiliate myself too.

Remember that band I was constantly raving about? I know, I raved about every band. I mean the one called Toubab Krewe, I think Nestor dug them as well. They're dubbed "afro-cowboy-ninja-surf" music, and they travel to Mali all the time. Check out their site: http://www.toubabkrewe.com/ But anyway, I'm gonna see them tomorrow! In VERMONT! I'm pretty psyched.

On top of all that, Sam and I will be taking the same Cornell Tour together, and will be eating dinner together at the Telluride HOUSE! Originally, we were leaving at the same time, so he couldn't meet me in Middlebury. Chances have it that we chose the same tour on the same day, and both of us scheduled to eat dinner with our fellow Telluridians in Cornell (it has the highest rate of suicides by the way) at the same time.

Man, I'm lucky. It also just re-dawned on me that I was in Paris the same time Derek was. How could I forget? Anyway, I'll post a bunch of crowd pictures on the blog when I learn how to do it, and I'll let ya'll see if he's somewhere in their Parisicking and Musicking away.

Peace

*joyous expression while typing this entry*

OMG
guess who got a job?!!!

*Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Yep, my dry spell is over. I have a TWENTY-DOLLAR-AN-HOUR GIG tutoring a ninth grader in freshman MATH!!!!!! whoopeeee!

And this led to my fabulous recommendation by that family to their social network..

So now I have ANOTHER tutoring thing with a sophomore who pays me TWENTYFIVE dollars an hour!!!!!!!! for geometry. (=]) And his mom picks me up from my home, and drops me back.

Can you believe this?
I'm practically minting money. abt 75 dollars a week honeys.

And it seems like only yesterday that I was trying to get Emily to teach me the lyrics of "If I was a rich girl.." Sigh..
The days of poverty are behind me.

Except that of late, I'm still broke because I had to shell out 160 bucks for senior forum, another 60 for an reservation on the yearbook copies, 140 for tennis utilities, and a little over 100 for graduation cap and cape.

Sigh again.

best,
$AMyukta

"Pot(ter)heads" - Dylan

While searching for clips of the upcoming movie, I stumbled upon this.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051009/ap_en_mo/harry_potter_university

To me it seems as though the obsession has grown to Star Trek-ian proportions.

But still, can't wait for the movie. ^.^

Must. Sleep.

Till later,

Jason

Ah, the memories...

So I was driving home from the gym the other night and heard a song on the radio that had me cracking up for miles. Not only was I shocked that the song had slipped underneath Tipper Gore's Parental Advisory radar to make it onto the radio, but I was amazed at how closely it matched the philosophy of our good friend John Sinclair. In "We Be Burnin' ", Sean Paul sings, in his best imitation of a Jamaican accent,

"Everyday, we be burnin not concernin what nobody wanna say
We be earnin dollars turning cau we mind deh pon we pay
Some got gold and oil and diamonds all we got is Mary J
Legalize it, time you recognize it."

While I have not a clue what "cau we mind deh pon we pay" means, I most definitely know what Mary J is and that he's burnin' it. I'm sure Sinclair would approve.

It's 1:45 in the afternoon in 'Bama, and I'm home sick from school. Don't pity me though, it's nice to finally get a break. I added a few boring pics to the third photobucket just for you, Em-Dash, so PLEASE no more plant pictures! :)

Is it just me or are you guys completely annoyed by the college application process? In actuality, it's not the essay-writing or even the standardardized testing that's frustrating me. It's the annoying moms & dads & family friends and their need to always ask, "Where are you going to college next year?"
I DON'T KNOW!
I have no idea where I'll be next fall, and that question is a constant reminder that my vision of the future is completely hazy.
*Sigh*
I wish you all good luck during the application process (not that any of you need it!).

I really need to shower.

Love you guys!
Emily

photobucket woes

Seriously, there are not enough pictures in the third photobucket. I've reached the point where I'm uploading pictures of myself with plants (yes, plants. From my own backyard) just to vary the photo-landscape a bit. Where are our factota? Where are our profs? Where are you and your friends and family? please.

Awesome Site, Awesome Article

*laughter*

http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/

Returning to the Motherland

Or is it the fatherland? Russia is always the Motherland, Germany is always the Fatherland. Who determines these country-gender issues anyway? And which gender is the US? Maybe we just don't go in for this kind of pinko commie stuff. Anyway, I am finally about to leave for a full week of fruited plains, amber waves, shining seas, etc. as I visit the East Coast on my big college tour! My flight leaves in approximately 12 hours and 22 minutes, and I still haven't really packed. We'll see how that goes . . .

Actually the main reason I'm posting right now is to catch the attention of Matt Slayton. Hello Matt, are you out there somewhere in the cold depths of cyberspace? I am going to be in Princeton on Wednesday (October 19th) afternoon, and I need to figure out when /where/if I can meet up with you. PLEASE EMAIL ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO GET THIS WORKED OUT! Thanks!

I am visiting Dylan in Boston (*great rejoicing*) and I am NOT visiting Henrik in Vermont (*great sadness*) because he will actually be in Ohio, but so far no firm plans one way or the other have been established regarding the possible Princeton connection. If it works out, I will be the first TASPer to participate in 2 reunions within a single week! I think I deserve a medal and a generous pension for this.

I guess I need to pack my clothes now . . . I'll bring a camera, and hopefully get some pictures which are worthy of our Photobucket.

Sam

Adam?!

And anybody else who knows the answers to the following questions:

MBTA and CBTA both have apps. for TASPers which go up at some insanely late date in, like, November, right?

1. Any chance that they'll be available earlier than that? Or can you at least tell us if the application questions are similar to the ones that're currently up? See, the thing is that my school's guidance department stops accepting applications to any colleges, anywhere in the world, on the 14th of November. Grrr...

2. And do we have to settle on one Telluride House, or can we apply to both?

3. Now for the interesting question. When does the TASP 2006 Brochure come out? On this note, I should say that vague outlines for some of the 2006 seminars are already available on the TA website (you just have to dig a little). But I don't want to blab any more than that.

OK, Christina's having problems logging into the blog, and is adrift in a wash of unanswered e-mails. She says hi to everyone, and hopes to post soon. I wonder where Jenny is?

Oh, I'd really like have everyone's birthday. So far the list consists of:


Ridley Jones Jan 25 1988
Bern Youngblood May 9 1988
Sophie Huber Jun 12 1988
Sam Pimentel Jul 7 1988
Lisa Ruiz Jul 7 1988
Dylan Morris Jul 8 1988
Meredith Hitchcock Jul 19 1988
Adam Hogan Aug 21 1984
Isaac Miller Sep 3 1987
Jason Chua Sep 3 1988
Emma Slager Sep 25 1988
Charles Wu Oct 21 1988

Egads, and please please correct it if any of the info is wrong!


That's all for now.

Till later,

Jason

From Mark

OK, Mark wrote an e-mail to the yahoogroups address (which some of you still haven't signed up for... shame) and so here it is for those who didn't receive it. Oh, and if you haven't signed up or need another invite, tell me.

Hi All,


Just wanted to let you know that I did preserve all the website data and I have a graduate student working with me now to get everything restored. I'll let you know when it's back up and running.


In other news, I got my book on Alton Adams to the publisher, so I'm hoping that will be published next year. There's still a number of details to spruce up, but for now it goes to peer reviewers and they tell me what needs to be done.


Hope you guys are doing well. Wish me luck on the Detroit Half Marathon in 2 weeks. My training was going well until I got sick. Now, I just hope to survive -- actually that's what I was hoping before -- I guess I'll say a few prayers as well...


-Mark

So yay! Our webspace has been preserved, and good luck for the race Mark. And woohoo for the book. Hope everything goes well!

Till later,

Jason

Wolfowitz's TA

I found a very interesting article: http://cornell-magazine.cornell.edu/Archive/2004Julaug/features/Feature.html in the Cornell Alumni Magazine on the Cornell House of the 60's, and especially the conservative movement spearheaded by Allan Bloom and Leo Strauss. The article focuses on Paul Wolfowitz, and gives a nice history on the TA of past eras.

Facicking

For those of you who diligently search the web for new ways to dissipate your much-needed study time, my sister has turned up an absolute treasure:

http://www.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/~morph/

You can basically take any face shot from your digital photo collection and make the unlucky subject twenty years older, ten years younger, transform him/her into an anime character, etc. Enjoy . . .

Sam

this is awesome

so some of you may have seen this already.

if you haven't you need to. now.

http://alistair.cockburn.us/humor/giraffe.html

The Big Nasty College Thread (With Pointy Teeth)

Well, we couldn't ignore the 800-pound gorilla sitting in the corner forever, so I guess I'll be the first one to point it out. Fall is college app (aka stressy essaying) time, and I suppose you are all feeling it. So where are you boys and girls applying? More to the point, what is your first choice? I'm shooting early for MIT, with Harvard and Cornell as alternate choices. y su, señores?

P.S. This means you too, Adam!

International TASPers

According to the TA Directory, 9 of the 86 '05 TASPers applied from overseas addresses.

One each from the UK, Japan, Netherlands, Austria :D, Turkey, Czech Republic, El Salvador, Kazakhstan, and Ethiopia. Pretty cool, huh?

I poked around that gap year website website I recommended to Henrik. The "things to do before you die" bit seems fun. Flying in a fighter jet and trekking to Mount Everest Base Camp are awesome ideas. But whatever it says on that site, Stonehenge is a drag... nothing truly spectacular.

Till later,

Jason

What Happened to Word of the Day?

Physiognomy:

• The art of judging human character from facial features.
• Divination based on facial features.
• Facial features, especially when regarded as revealing character.

It's fun to phsyiognimyick when looking at the Photo Buckets, it's hard to stray from my truthful knowledge however. All time favorite picture: The one of Emma, Charles and I, where the expressions are Dismay, awe, and un unidentifiable Charles. Of course, that's usually how it goes with ol' Chuckie.

While deciding what I'm going to do next year, it's been final: I'm not going to college, not will I apply just yet. A 5th year of high school sounds like the plan, or maybe I can study abroad, or maybe I'll go to a musical conservatory. As you can see, I'm still undecided. I've been asking around for advice, and I thought the Blog was a good source. Any comments, suggestions, questions, concerns? Thanks

Henrikicking Henrik

The IgNobel Revisited

Various Nobel Prizes are making the news, and this has prompted me to go back to that site I told you guys about back in August. The IgNobel Prizes for 2005 have been awarded.

I rather like the project Pressures Produced When Penguins Pooh which won in "Fluid Dynamics", but my favourite is the winner in "Economics" which I'll leave for you to check out.

http://www.improb.com/ig/ig-pastwinners.html

That is all.

Till later,

Jason

questions!?!?!?!

If you search something on the web, can results from a blog show up?
If no, what if you were on like google groups search networks or something?

when are our websites going to rise from their graves?

Is there a method to enter a line of poetry or prose or a magazine article, basically any kind of literature, and have the original show up?
If not, how come my English teacher threatens our class that he can actually find proof of plagiarism because google is just that awesome?
Note: This is a purely academic question - I really don't plagiarize, ppl.

Also, does anyone share my view that these college resumes are soooooooo unreliable? Almost every person I know is making stuff up about activities and extracurriculars for their resumes, and what's reallllly annoying is that they can technically get away with it all. Because proofs are not needed - I mean, are you going to send in scores of signed sheets proving that you did this and that and crap? It infuriates me to no extent. But I mean, how cane there be absolutely no check on this kind of behavior? Don't the guidance counselors or someone check these papers before sealing them? wow.

Well those were many questions, pardon, but plz give me some answers.

~Doc Oc

Become a Telluride Associate!

I was just poking around the TA site, and I found this wonderful link: http://www.tellurideassociation.org/Assocpage.tpl Just enter your name and other sundry items and it will give you access to the TA member page. So for all of you prospective interviewers and factota, check it out. You can even look up names of past and present TASPers and TAers. Read the newsletter! Pester Adam or Jenny! You have free will, as I have presented you the site.

Ironic Indeed

Our third photobucket briefly advertised for WalMart. Nice screen capture; I assume it was Sam?

Anybody else taking the various SAT Subject Tests this Saturday, or am I the only TASPer who's this procrastinatory?

Possibly my quickest blog post yet.

Bye,

Jason

Gravity on the Moon

Another piece of evidence about the sad state of college instruction and average college student intelligence.

http://www.milk.com/wall-o-shame/heavy_boots.html

Sam

Just thought I'd say this.

I just realized how influential the Blog is. Everytime I read it, it puts me back on my feet and I start working diligently and with enthusiasm. Just reading all the amazing things you guys have to say everyday just fills me with joy.

I am so grateful to knowing all of you.

So, after using this Blogg Drug, I'll call it Blog - Heroin, I'm going to use this revitalized self of mine and read C & P. Thanks.

no subject

Hi guys - I'm so sorry for being out of it for the past couple of weeks. In fact, I don't think I've blogged since the start of school, which was over a month ago. I must make up. The fact is, that I've been loaded with school work since the first day, and I have had no time to breathe at all. But I have been reading your posts diligently, and it's great to hear about your doings and outings. Seems like you've been living it up to the fullest.
School is not too bad. I'm taking a few hard classes, I've dropped some and overall it hasn't been too bad. My schedule looks something like this:

1 - AP Chemistry (hum drum... the teacher is xtremely soporific, and she does powerpoint all the time)

2 - Chem Labs/Physics labs (alternate days. but in every six-day cycle, I get two days off!!)
3 - AP Physics (I absolutely love this teacher. Dry humor at its best)

4 - Free/ Gym (for now, because of tennis I get free everyday, but soon, I'll have gym on odd numbered days, and omg, it's with my sister!! with the eighth-graders!!! aarargh!!)

5 - AP English (this is my hardest class. The teacher is THE hardest grader ever. but its fun)

6 - Chorus/Lunch (Chorus is only the first half of the period)

7 - AP Calculus (erm, what?? what's integral again?)

8 - AP Govt & Politics/ AP Macroeconomics (these are one-semester classes)

I have the same people in most of my classes. It's not a very big school, only about 190 kids in my grade, so everyone who's taking government and politics the first semester instead of third-period macroeconomics, and who's doing the only-AP-courselist thing, is in every one of my classes. Except Chem. That's because I'm the nerd, and am the only person doing two sciences. Most people have languages or science scholars (research class) or yearbook publishing or art or health or something like that. So my Chem class is full of sophomores and bookworms. I really don't like that class. I tried to get it changed, but the only other option available was some sort of photography or something and AP European History (usu. offered only to sophomores, I'd be the only senior). But Euro is a shitload of work, not worth doing it on top of every other class I'm taking, so that was out of the question. Photography was an appealing option to me, because I really like taking pictures. But then my counselor found out that that class was filled and it was "against NY law to put you in, my dear.." And then there was sitting in with the seventh graders and learning Spanish 7 or French 7. But on top of my taking gym with the eighth graders...I couldn't handle it. (The odd gym is because I'm taking two sciences, and the normal routine of having gym every other day with labs wasn't possible)

[one day in physics: (in a monotonous tone) "Ok, let's now proceed to kill two birds with one stone. ... [pause] My apologies to the birds." hahhahahaha, how can I not love this guy?]

The other major 'happening' is tennis. I'm playing fifth-doubles, so my game never counts in the overall score, but I'm really grateful for landing that spot. We have seven doubles teams, and sixth and seventh normally don't even play. The only times they play are when a certain doubles member doesn't show up, and then the whole team gets booted up. So fifth-doubles is pretty nice for a newcomer like me. I play exhibition matches normally. My partner and I make up our own rules and play games like: who can hit the opponents the most? It's great fun. No pressure, but we get so much experience.

However the fall season is the shortest of the year. And I have only 3 more weeks before winter sports take over. That sucks double, because it also means that I have to go do the dreaded gym with my sis. It wouldn't be that bad, but for the fact that eighthgraders are divided by gender, and there are no options in choosing what you want to do for the next four weeks. If the teacher decides to do gymnastics, everybody has to do gymnastics. And I can't do gymnastics!! this is a phantasma, Henrik, it really is.

And guess what? You'll never believe this. Apparently we always had cable!!!!! All my mom did was put it on video! So the other day, the remote fell in between the sofa cushions, and when I sat on the couch, it got pressed and changed to TV mode! Omigod. So I confronted my mom and she persuaded me to not tell my sister. But today, my sister found out by the same exact method. This drove my mom to pull the cable plug out for good. I saw her doing it, but of no avail - I'm a tech retard. And there's no way I'm telling my sis. If anyone's watching TV, it would be me. If she starts at it, she just won't stop. That's how I got dragged into watching That's so Raven marathons. Yuck.

And I mean, my mom is providing for us through videos. This month's screenings include:

War and Peace - with Audrey Hepburn and Henry Fonda and someone else

Emma - with Paltrow

Million Dollar Baby - Swank

Vanity Fair - Witherspoon (loved it)

Mansfield Park - with a bunch of unknowns, it was really bad, guys.

Freaky Friday - Lohan

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless mind

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - Lohan (all the Disney movies are my sister's doing)

Bride and Prejudice - with Aishwarya Rai and Martin Henderson. was average

and then a whole bunch of Hindi and Telugu movies.

well, I think I'll save some for later. Have a good day!

PS: I got two days off for Rosh Hashannah!

Best,

Samyutka

happy birthday emma!!!

Hey emma,

I wanted to wish you a happy b'day, but then the blogger service went down. Then, gmail decided to call it quits. Then my computer screen froze, and I couldn't even open up the page where I stored everybody's contact info. So I shut the whole system down, restarted it, kicked the internet redirector or whatever, and finally got this thing to work.
So here it goes.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA!!!!!!
I miss you loads, and hope that your seventeenth year goes extremely well, and that you get into Georgetown, and that your hair grows into the shape of a mohawk, and you have lots of fun living with Hannah, and that your ecumenical joke meets with success and that the forensics judges love your hair.
I'll break two coconuts for you today.

Luv,
Samyu

Watsuperoo

Hi Everybody! (quoting that obnoxious doctor from the Simpsons)

I'm in the middle of a procrastination spasm, and the delight I take in this writing is the climax, or the orgasm (notice the rhyme, I'm not simply a perverted child, that is a mere phantasm).

Jason, you're trip sounds dangerously intriguing, and did you know that Pink Floyd also recorded stuff there?

Man, I can't believe I'm saying this guys, but I really would like to quit soccer. It's an energetic vaccum that takes forever! I'm so behind in everything, for a while I was convinced I had mono because I slept for about 18 hours in one day (it could also be due to the fact that every waking hour I tried to read Crime and Punishment, and, unfortunately thereafter sunk into oblivion (I was mocking Raskolnikov during his revitalization stage after the murder, when Razumikhin kept on revisiting).). Luckily, I've been taking a little break, but it hasn't helped much at all. I'm still not finished, senior squares are due tomorrow, I have to write a blasted thesis on the spread of Christianity and Buddhism, do my long due Calculus homework, prepare for the Calliope (Literary Journal) meeting tomorrow, and check with a doctor to see if I really do have mono (how do you spell it?).

On top of it all, our soccer team sucks and we have won one game, which is the first in the past two years of the school's history (no not all sports).

Sam, I replied to your email, and I'm assuming that it did not go through, like all of my other emails to you. Therefore, I will hope that you read this, and if you don't, everyone who does send an email to Sam reminding him! I cannot miss this opportunity to be the first to reunite with a fellow TASPer!

We can eat at multiple places for Breakfast, we should just meet at my house befopre hand or something. respond and we can talk more about it.

Koalacking:

- Gravity, dumbass.

- It fell asleep.

- Its baby iterated itself continuously (mathematically), therefore being too much weight for the poor koala to carry.

- To get to the ground

- John Sinclair took too much acid and jumped in the tree, taking its place.

- Uhh... Nestor told it to chill (where the hell is he?)

- Burn pretended to throw a knife at it with his stage combat, all it could do was jump.

- Sophie said one sentence and it fell in confusion (thanks for the letter by the way)

- Charles pulled out a hand grenade after strolling in on his motorcycle from SanAndres and threw it at it.

- Chris jousted with it.

- Adam tried to skat Louis Armstrong style and it was lured to him like a magnet.

- I suggested that some interdisciplinary habitats would be nice. Of course it's impossoble, but what do Koala's know?

Henrik

Why Did The Koala Fall Out Of The Tree?

It was hit by a double-decker bus.

I was in London from Thursday till Sunday for a *cough* yearbook conference *cough*. We learned about new software, techniques, developed our theme, etc. Useful, yet extremely boring.

London itself was great, despite the noise, crowds, and ridiculously high prices. My hosts lived literally 30 seconds away from Abbey Road (mecca for Beatles fans), so I got to walk on the famous crossing (see the Abbey Road album cover if you don't know what I'm talking about, and sign the studio wall. I've never really listened to their music much, but judging by the scrawled mass of "!OMG I LOVE YOU GUYS!" and "THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!!" that was on the wall, I guess the Beatles were something special. Which is why I decided to go with:

"I really should *heart* the Beatles"

Yes, I realise that I am now officially musically retarded.

Moving on... the conference was organised by the American School of London. According to my host, lots of Americans get mugged around the place where we lived, which was close to the school. Indeed, on Friday, four of their seniors were severely beaten up by a gang of rudes (what they call rowdy Brits) at a pub two blocks away from the school, and on Saturday another senior got his skull fractured when a birthday party was crashed by rudes. So basically ten percent of the graduating class (yeah, it's a tiny school) was sent to the hospital in the three days I was there. Oh well.

On a tangential note, my UK applications are finished (hah, no surprise there since they collectively required one-and-a-half-essays) so that's some of the stress alleviated. Just need to get the US applications out (sooo stressig) and then I'll begin clarinet lessons! Yay, can't wait. In fact, why don't I start beforehand? Hoo, I'm very very excited.

At any rate, I'll upload the few decent photos I took in London (most of them were blurry self-shots taken holding the camera at arm's length) sometime soon.

Till later,

Jason

A wee bit o' shameless advertising

so I know that this isn't quite what our blog is meant to be used for, but a good friend of mine (Ben Morgan) has finally finished his past four years of work and is releasing a full length film about the lives of graf artists, so I figured I would put a plug in for him since I have seen it and I think most of you would enjoy it.

wow, that is possibly the longest and most poorly worded sentence I have ever written.

anyway, It's called "quality of life" and it's opening first in San Francisco (where it was filmed) and then hopefully spreading out.

the website is www.qualityoflife-themovie.com

-b

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

--Colin Firth walked by and it swooned

--It got hit by a light-up frisbee

--a mothership from skylon 4 vaporized it with a neutralon beam

Just thought I would contribute my two bits.

-Bern

p.s. I got the lead in the play

Amazing Bible Studies, Sleigh Ride with Tevye, and Charles' Koala

Hey y'all,

As I assume you all know, the URL of our most illustrious blog is http://www.taspum05.blogspot.com. Now, first examine closely, then follow the link below:

http://www.taspum05.blogpsot.com.

Armageddon, Aaron's Christian Search Engine, alphabetical listing of 667 sins . . . this website has got it all. Two letters switched, that's all it takes. We all had a moment of panic here, thinking that this site had actually replaced the blog. Thankfully, the folks at blogger.com are more on top of things than their counterparts at the good old U of M.

Did you guys know you can sing the lyrics to "Jingle Bells" to the tune of "Fiddler on the Roof"? Perfect for all Yiddish-themed Christmas events.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

- It was looking for skunks.

- It was wasted by a bubble sniper.

- The Holocaust.

- Its eucalyptus addiction and gambling debts drove it to the point of desperation.

- Malevolent TASPers sprayed the tree with concentrated peach air-freshener fumes, causing the koala to lose consciousness.

- A body acted on by a resultant force will accelerate in the direction of that force such that the body's rate of change of momentum is proportional to the magnitude of the force.

- A Communist conspiracy.

- Why? Do you have a problem with it? Do you have a problem with koalas? Are you some kind of koala-hater? Well, let me tell you, pal, in this country, we believe in equality and tolerance, and that goes for koalas too! Don't think we're going to let some chauvinist bigot infringe upon the cherished freedoms given to us by the august Bill of Rights. You can take your narrow-minded attitude out of here right now before I decide to exercise the Second Amendment on your sorry little anti-marsupial self.

Sam